10/15/04
I'm sorry I haven't had an entry in a few days. You (one) would not
BELIEVE what happened to me.
On Friday the 13th I was unjustifiably arrested for assaulting a "peace" officer!
It's kind of an interesting story. I was out at my favorite taco stand just, you know, eating, when I spotted Babs Striesand at a back table. She looked so great. So with all the couth I
could muster I walked up to her plastic table and, very gently asked,
"excuse me, but are you Barbara Striesand?"
"Yes, yes I am." She said in a beautiful, soft, and progressively sing songy voice.
After an appropriately long gushy pause I proceeded to punch her flatly on the nose. Now don't get me wrong, I think Barbara Striesand is very talented. Anyway, turns out
that I was set up in a sting operation and I had just punched a cop, merely
disguised as Barbara Striesand. I fell for the oldest trick in the book. A
250-pound Samoan detective dressed up as Barbara Striesand just waiting to
bust someone for punching him in the nose. So I guess the lesson is live and
learn. Be careful out there. I learned (and lived) the hard way, that the
pre nine eleven world can be a very dangerous place. And, in case you are
wondering, yes I was raped in county, but that is not why I punched a cop.