8/08/04
There's a bullet with my name on it spelled incorrectly.
A while back a waitress came to my table half way through my meal and
asked how I was doing. I took a good long time to answer.
"I'm alright", I said.
I just didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. She seemed so perky.
I live in Hollywood because I love the smell of vomit. But today the sun
is shining, like every other day and it's all good.
But actually today is not like any other day. Today I am going to leave my apartment! I am going to leave my apartment, get in my car, and drive to another apartment.
That's what we do here. It is our way. So don't try and stop me. I swear I
will do it. I will buy light bulbs too. I am strong. I think my agoraphobia is compounded by the fear and paranoia embedded in the ads for tennis shoes, trucks, and soda pop, which is ingenious because you watch more TV when you are afraid to leave your house. I don't
really understand how fear sells, but I guess they know what they're doing.
Every war that our country wins brings spoils from the lands we conquer.
After WWII we got a lot of nazi scientists and really cool interrogation techniques. And after the cold war we apparently got all of their tools for mind control and propaganda, which produced ad campaigns like "you could die at any minute… Glad air freshener"
Or, "With a taste so powerful it will hunt your family down and shoot it in the back of its head. Twice."
I also enjoy the monotone, my life is empty and hopeless, just give the fuck
up, announcer guy. I guess the message there is "Just buy it. Why not? I
really could really care less. The world is gonna end. Go ahead. Buy it. It's
ironic." I hate to think what we will get out of the war on terror when we win.
Oh yeah I forgot, we aren’t supposed to win. Do you remember that guy
who tried to rape Steven Spielberg? What ever happened to him? And why do we
know he was trying to rape Steve (I call him Steve). From what I
remember he was caught breaking into Steve's house armed with duct tape. How long
did that interrogation last before the perpetrator cried out, "All right coppers, You got me. I was going to rape him! Rape him, I tell ya! How'd you like them apples ya dirty screws?"
Personally, they would have to torture me for hours before I admitted to wanting to rape Steven Spielberg. But as we all know rape is about power so maybe it was just a meeting gone horribly wrong. Here's a quote I would like to hear one day: "I just raped the
president!"
But usaully rape is bad. Date rape I think is especially reprehensible. Not only are you raping the girl, but more often than not you are talking about yourself for over an hour. And it is also very bad form to go Dutch on a date rape. Hey, did you know that botox can shave years off your scrotum?
All for now.
Pleasant dreams!