Dear God,
My imaginary friend said you don't exist. He is a giant turtle named Rosy and I believe him.

Dear God,
Does beget mean fuck?

Dear God,
You are such a fag. Oh look the little faggot's crying. Cry little faggot God.

Dear God,
Yeah, you are TOTALLY gay. What's the matter God? Got to go home and cry to
your MOMMY?

Dear God,
Carl Marx said that you are the opiate of the masses. Well it's obvious to me that Carl Marx never did opiates because this shit is excellent!

Dear God,
My mommy must like you. She shouts your name real loud when my uncles come to visit.

Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year. For Christmas I want a lionel train set, a red bike with a banana seat and sissy bars, some mighty morphing Power rangers, and one of those hopity hops with a horse head on it.
And would you please give my stupid sister leprosy?

Dear God,
I never thought I'd ever write to God before but something amazing happened to me recently that I thought your readers might find really hot….
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censored censored censored censored censored censored censored).

Dear God,
Why do make so many icky things like spiders and Jews?

Dear God,
I know you are but what am I?

Dear God,
I love you very much. And I love my mommy and daddy. My mommy and daddy tell me to love myself more than anybody else. But I love you more because that makes me good. I think everybody should love God more than me. If you loved me too that would be nice.
PS: Father O'Donnel has been touching me.

Dear God,
Winter has come early here at the Lake. The woodcocks chime their morning song and my thoughts drift towards you. Binky and Kyle beat me and June
at doubles on Sunday and Grandam is eighty years old today. We all plan an outing to the lakefront for some tonics and cribbage. Oh, God I do love you. I love you more than the breadth and depth and length of this great land, I love you.Yours ever,
Yam yam.

Dear God,
I have cancer, and even I don't believe in you.
PS: please make the pain stop.

Dear God,
Have you ever heard of separation of church and state? My mommy is a lawyer and she's gonna sue you AND this stupid school! Big time!

Dear God,
Why do you make war? Is it because you like to see people get blowed up, like in Star Wars? When I grow up I want to kill people just like you and
Steven Segal.